Muslim Womanhood...Muslim Motherhood

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Tune in now to Radio Reality's: Radio Hajj

Radio Hajj

www.radiohajj.co.uk

you'll find lectures...live show...Qur'an recitation...

myself and Hanan will have a show every Sunday at noon for the next 4 weeks...starting today (Sunday 1st November). Our show is the Ask About Islam show...tune in...

You can email us on: studio@radiohajj.co.uk
You can text us: 07919 33 00 77
Or call into the studio: 020 3201 4099

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Reflections on the transient nature of life

My mother-in-law has been in hospital for over a month now. She went in during Ramadan when she was suffering from angina pain. Then while in hospital she had heart failure (cardiac arrest) and was resuscitated and alhamdulillah after a week or so in the Intensive Therapy Unit during which she was sedated, her organs: lungs, kidneys, heart slowly began to get stronger again...and she moved to the high dependency unit. There her heart stopped once more, but she survived. She is now slowly getting her strength back but is very tired. May Allah grant her a speedy and complete recovery.

We had gotten to the point where we thought 'this was it'. And truly, when you see death so close to you, almost in front of you, it is utterly sobering, to say the least: the impact of one person in your life not being around is huge. And yet, this ever-turning cycle of life and death and life and death and life will go on. It is unstoppable. I am just another life in this world that will end in death. So are you. We reach our peak and then decline in physical strength slowly but surely and then it is our children's turn to reach their peak and then they too must slowly face up to their own mortality. And on and on it goes.

It makes you want to hug your husband, kids, parents and loved ones tighter to think that we are just lives slipping away as surely as the seconds and minutes do. It makes you want to spend that life smiling more, striving more. It makes you want to give more and be more. That is one of the things I would miss most about my mum-in-law: her smiling and her giving, her reassuring presence. When I go and visit her in the hospital, thoughts and memories flash in my mind...how proud she was of me, the bahu, when I got married to her son...she would phone me and ask what I'd be wearing to the next dinner-party we were invited to. She'd buy me expensive make up and gifts and have clothes made for me, without me asking for it or expecting it. She'd show me how to wear a particular garment and would be pleased to see me dressed up. I think of all the love she has showered upon my children. Irreplaceable. Anyone seeing her in hospital who didn't know her, would feel pity. They wouldn't know how elegant and glamorous she once was. They wouldn't know about all the laughter and happiness of her home, the warm aroma of her cooking, the trips to the park and wedding parties she'd attended, the intricately embroidered silk clothing she'd worn...I guess all of it fades into insignificance, when we are facing the end.

How small it makes me feel. Just another life. Just another child of Adam, coming and going back as they always have done. Nothing to stop it. Decreed.

Maybe I shouldn't feel this, but the transient nature of life does send a shiver down my spine.
One day I'll get a phone call telling me that one of my friends has passed away, someone of my generation. How scary that will seem: that our friends or even siblings are one by one leaving. Gone - and we might only be able to count how many of our contemporaries are left on Earth on our fingers.

Whenever someone passes away, it is the end of an era in someone else's life. It is time to start again in some way. How easily 'expendable' human life is. My mum-in-law: such an important part of our lives yet only we will understand that. Her great grandchildren probably won't. The importance of that human life is most felt at the time in which it exists (for most people). What about after that? Are we just forgotten?

The thought of not leaving a legacy of some sort is probably a more scary 'death' than death. I look at my children and feel reassured: a part of us lives on in them and their children until the end of time insha Allah. A part of us lives on in those far-reaching things of on-going benefit that we may have done or left behind.

I kind of want to live on. Not in flesh, but in impact.

I'm sure you do too.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Diary Part 2




From Sisters Magazine

The Ummah in Dire Straits
By Fatima Barkatulla

Imam ash-Shafi’ee said about travelling to seek knowledge:

“The intelligent and refined find no rest in dwelling in one place,
So leave your homeland and travel far away!
Travel and you will meet new people replacing those left behind,
And tire yourself out, because it makes life worth living!
I have seen that water stagnates when it stands still,
Yet when it runs it is sweet and pure.
And if the lion left not its land, it would not catch its prey
And if the arrow left not the bow, it would not hit its aim
And if the sun moved not across the horizon,
People the world over would have tired of the sky.”

The dusty streets, oppressive heat and sprawling populace were not the only things I had to adjust to when I arrived in Cairo. Growing up in a non-Muslim society, I had always believed, rather romantically, that the Muslim Ummah today was a force to be reckoned with; a shining beacon of light for all, the very embodiment of Revelation. Cairo was my chance to immerse myself amongst my fellow Muslims and absorb some of its luminosity for myself. What I was to discover in my first months in Egypt, shook my world.

The first incident happened whilst my father and I stayed with a friend of his who was a professor at a small-town University north of Cairo. He was a wealthy and generous man who knew my father from his visits to London. His pretty daughter was an intelligent engineer who was recently married but was not yet living with her husband. We got on famously, as she spoke English fluently and tried her best to introduce me to life in Egypt.

One day she wanted to show me her wedding video. What took me aback was that in the video, there she was: smiling, dressed in her white wedding dress surrounded by dancing men and women. The men around her could not all have been related to her. I asked her how it was that she would not observe hijab in front of those men. She looked down and said “Yes, it is wrong. But that is the norm here.” I asked her if her fiancé had objected. I couldn’t imagine a Muslim man wanting his wife paraded in public in that way. Surely his sense of jealousy and high regard for his wife would prevent him from allowing that. “My fiancé is the one who wanted me to dress like that. You know, he wants his friends to know that he has a beautiful wife. It is what he wanted.”

I very soon realised that we came from two totally different paradigms. Hijab for me was something sacred. I had grown up being the odd one out, the only girl in the school who observed hijab, until my sister joined me and became the only other. Throughout our childhoods, we had experienced the struggle, the stares, the pointing, the questions and sometimes the name-calling and jibes that came with observing hijab in the 80s and 90s in the UK. The idea of removing it so thoughtlessly, in a Muslim country where you could observe hijab easily, where it should be a part of your life, was incredible to me.

My father applied for me to live in the girls’ hostel: Bait-ut Talibaat al-Muslimaat in a congested part of Cairo called ‘Abbasiyyah, but my admission there hadn’t been approved yet, so before leaving, he entrusted me to his professor friend’s family who lived in a narrow, poverty-stricken road in North West Cairo. The cheerful demeanour of even the poorest Egyptian family was uplifting, and I bore the difficulty of living there, knowing that my stay was only temporary.

My neighbour, Hussein was a tall, olive skinned Egyptian guy who also happened to be a tour-guide. He would try to give me pointers as to how to get to where I needed to in Cairo. Hussein seemed to encapsulate all that was not quite right about Egypt. He was a fit and healthy unmarried man who was probably in his 30s. He wore Western designer clothing, spent his evenings smoking shisha, socialising with his friends in cafes, going to the cinema, listening to Bryan Adams songs and fraternising with European tourists. He didn’t pray except perhaps on Friday and he didn’t really care. It seemed a waste. His faith was in his heart, as he saw it.

That the Ummah was in dire straits was becoming apparent to me on a daily basis. For although the striking minarets filled the Cairene skyline and the heart stirring calls to prayer echoed in crescendo five times every day, the men sitting in the market places and coffee houses which seemed to be on every street, would not budge. Prayer time came in – and went, and all the while, young and old, continued to smoke and converse, unmoved. The second pillar of Islam was being totally ignored. I was confused. On top of that, I had been reading a book by an American journalist about the hidden face of Saudi Arabia which was a depressing portrayal of a country which I had always held in high regard. Was this the real face of the Ummah? Why would Allah grant success to a people who did not fulfil the most basic of His commands? And in the months that followed and certainly by the end of my second year in Egypt, I had concluded that all that was wrong with the Muslim World was not the doing of puppet regimes and colonialists. Until the Muslim world changed its own state of being: its own condition of disobedience to Allah, Allah would not grant us an Islamic State.

An Inspiring Poem for you and your kids

IF.....


 

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

By Rudyard Kipling

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Fundraiser Dinner Baseera Institute


Assalamu Alaikum

Just wanted to tell you about this fundraising dinner at LMC that my brother is involved in organising for Saturday 17th October. It is in aid of blind people, for their needs and Islamic education....by Baseera institute. It is called "An Evening with Junaid Jamshed" and Abdullah Rolle and Kamal Uddin will be singing there too. There will be beautiful Qur'an recitation taking place by blind students from South Africa insha Allah. It's £16 if you book online....and will probably go on until 10pm...so even if you can't make it at the beginning...still come.

An Evening with Junaid Jamshed

Insha Allah if you come I might see you there. See the flyer below and please spread the word.

FB

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Heart Age Calculator

I dare you try it!

Flora Heart Health Calculator

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Avoiding Spiritual and Physical HEART ATTACKS

I was thinking about this the other day...
when you are a student of knowledge who has knowledge but doesn't practise his/her 'ilm...how terrible then, when you develop diseases of the heart like pride, arrogance, love of shuhra (fame), or if you indulge in sins: backbiting, not praying on time, being lazy about obligatory acts....then you only have yourself to blame when you realise your Iman is low and you have the characteristics of a Munafiq(hypocrite)...you haven't been doing your nawafil acts so even your fard acts become hard! You start feeling lazy about even the fard and they start to suffer...you have caused your own ruin. You are having a spiritual heart attack. Getting back to a healthy heart will be hard after all that gradual damage...

That is with regards to the spiritual heart.

Now think about your physical heart. I've been chatting with doctors over the last few weeks...and one of them said something that really struck me. She said that after about the age of 25, your arteries start slowly furring up...you may not notice or realise how much damage is being done to your arteries...the furring up...the fatty deposits...until they are about 70% blocked when there will be a point at which your health will be impacted. You could have a heart attack and your life will never really be the same again. This has happened to people in their 40s and younger...it doesn't just happen to the elderly.

Now reflect on this:
Just like that person who has knowledge but didn't act upon it and caused his Iman to plummet....we are educated and we know that over-eating or eating the wrong types of foods (saturated fats...sugar...processed carbs etc) causes damage to our health....we know that keeping our weight to a healthy level is an important part of keeping healthy in general and is a part of our deen.

We know that our bodies were not made to be sedentary...they are designed for movement...muscles - if you don't use them you lose them, your heart - cardiovascular exercise strengthens it...we need activity and exercise....so in other words...we have the knowledge of how we should be keeping our physical heart healthy...just as the student of knowledge has knowledge of how to keep his Iman high....
but...
if we don't practise it...I mean if we don't exercise...if we eat junk...we can't say no to the biryani and parathas and kheer or profiteroles...waste our money on excessive eating...etc...we will cause our own ruin and affect our physical hearts....and have a physical heart attack. Again...getting back to a healthy heart will be hard after all the gradual damage...

In other words....we need to practise our knowledge...act upon it...knowledge of deen -how to keep our spiritual hearts healthy as well as knowledge of dunya- how to keep our physical hearts healthy...

Arab Newspaper's coverage of niqab article

Al Madinah:
صحفية «بالتايمز»: الحجاب رمز الخضوع الأنثوي لله

كاتبة بريطانية مسلمة تدحض أفكار الغرب عن النقاب وتصفها بـ "الخرافة"

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Presents for Eid?

I'll add some more present ideas in the next few days insha Allah.

I just love these kitchen products...maybe I'll get the salad bowl for my mum..

http://www.josephjoseph.com/shop

This looks good for the kids:

Baba Ali's Kalimaat Game

Here's the website for it with more info:
Baba Ali Games

Learning Roots

Here's another idea for the kids:
Charades for Kids

Books for husbands:
Screw it Let's Do it

Your husband will like this one:
Rich Dad Poor Dad