First of all, I would advise sisters not to inundate their children with toys and to get rid of the TV. Yes let them have fun and learn to love outdoor play, in parks and natural places, but in the home, let them be surrounded by books and some toys. Give them books as gifts and rewards when you want to reward them, to make them love the idea of reading.
I would advise sisters to teach their children to read in Arabic before teaching them to read in English. Even if Arabic is not a language they understand, it is actually easier to learn than English because it is phonetic and follows rules which children can very easily follow. Also because eventually, if you are living in the West, English will inevitably surround them, in the long term, they may not get a chance to concentrate on Arabic like they can when they are with you all the time in the early years. Even Muslim Schools cannot practically fit in long periods of Arabic teaching and so progress is slow. If you can help them to read before they start school, you can carry it on and build upon it very easily once they start school, as they are already reading. I found that once my son could read in Arabic, he understood the concept and mechanics of reading and so teaching him to read in English was very easy. Alhamdulillah.
I started by reciting the Arabic alphabet to my children daily, perhaps in a tuneful voice or just plainly so that they memorised the alphabet that way. Then, quite simply, I moved onto the Qa'idah, which is a book which step by step goes through the alphabet, then the letters with the harakaat (vowel markings), then full words until it has gone through every combination possible, so that the child can read.
I would set a time for the lesson. After breakfast was best as my child was very fresh and eager at that time. It didn't mean spending a long time. 10 minutes to start off with.
I used two Qa'idahs. One is pictured below and can be bought through Al-Hidaayah in Birmingham or the Islamic Foundation in Leicester. The other one was called 'Yassarnal Qur'an'. I don't know where my mother got that from but it was very thorough and I'm sure large, Asian-Islamic bookshops would stock it. We went through both of them, so that he would get a thorough grounding. I started off doing a line a day with my son. The key is to do little but daily and continuously, so that everyday, the child is building on what they learned before. Even if that means repeating yesterdays lesson. Every day I would mark with a pencil, where my child had read to and write the date. I might write up key things I want him to remember or things he found difficult on a whiteboard on our living room wall, so that, throughout the day, whenever he saw it he could be reminded of it.
On days when he really was distracted by something else or didn't want to read, I would leave it that day and in a couple of days he would regain his enthusiasm for it. So I would bring the Qa'idah out again.
Before long, when he finished the Qa'idah, he could read. The fluency came when he actually started reading from the Mus-haf (the copy of the Qur'an) directly, after a few pages. When he started on the Mus-haf he would read an aayah a day to begin with, building up to half a page, and now to a full page.
Along with the Qa'idah and Qur'an I went through a reading book in Arabic language with him too. But that is not absolutely necessary to get a child reading the Qur'an. And Allah is ultimately the one who gave us the capacity to learn. So Alhamdulillah.
4 comments:
Salam sister. Mashallah this blog is excellent and such a source of inspiration. I couldn't agree more with your point about not lavishing your children with toys. I try to make my kids work for treats. Nothing in life comes for free and without effort. If I give my child a new toy, I make sure they know it was because of their good behaviour or some Quran they have learnt. Children that grow up with gifts and luxuries poured upon them become spoilt adults, in particular spoilt husbands and wives. They have high material expectations and know only how to take but not the value of giving or working hard for rewards. Moreover, they often find it hard to adapt if ever afflicted with money problems.
Wa 'Alaikum us Salaam Sister Umm Umar...although I said I don't inundate my children with toys, I don't think that means ONLY giving them toys for effort, or Qur'an learning. I think it is important to show our children that we thought of them and bought them a gift, simply because we love them and are interested in them. Because as you probably know, in Islam, gifts are not only given according to merit. The Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: 'tahaadu tahaabu'...'give gifts and you will love one another'. So gifts can also simply be an expression of love.
If we only give them gifts for achievement, we are giving them the message that they are only worth something to us if they achieve, do as they're told etc.
By the same token, children who are always rewarded with praise and gifts for every achievement they make, can fail to appreciate that achieving something is, in and of itself a fulfilling experience and instead will look for rewards and incentives of some sort for their Qur'an reading, for example, instead of feeling good simply because they read and that it was a good thing to do.
An interesting book about this topic is 'Kids Are Worth It! Giving your child the gift of Inner Discipline', by Barbara Coloroso. She raises some good points in her book.
Jazakillhu khayr for your reply sister. I do agree that kids should be given gifts as a sign of love. I guess the point I was trying to make is the other very common extreme where people are generally better off than our parents' generation may have been and can buy lots of things for their children without stopping to think they could be having an adverse effect. It is difficult to strike a balance though. I find with Quran, with my four year old, I really have to give her lots of incentives to make her do it and often wonder if I should just give up or keep pushing.
All kids are different, some really take to Qur'an reading, some need more encouragement. But I think sometimes the best thing, if a child is really resisting is to have a break. I mean leave it for a few days and then go back to it and usually the child feels eager again, or think about things like: is it the right time of day? Are there other distractions that are making the child resist? If the child is older, do they understand why we read the Qur'an? The reward etc. One sister I know, said that she lets her children play, watch a DVD or do whatever it is that they want to do as children first, and then she will have the Qur'an or study time with them so that there isn't something that they would rather do, that they haven't done and also so that they feel that Qur'an time is as much a part of their day as playing or eating. In other words, there is sufficient time for play as well as study.
Sometimes a temporary change of teacher works better! Recently my husband has been at home and my eldest son seems to want him to do Qur'an time with him rather than me.
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