I have to tell you how my sister-in-law and I have (I hope) improved the relationship between my three year old Yahya and her three year old son. We didn't like the way that when we all got together, they seemed to be seriously at war with each other, so we discussed it and had an idea for a solution. We thought that the presence of other kids, was making these two particular toddlers unable to get to know each other and just be nice to one another. So we had a party - for two!! It was my sister-in-laws idea.
Yes, when she woke up with her son, she told him about the party he would have with Yahya and said let's go out and get Yahya a present....so they went out and got some goodies. I did the same and wrapped up a small gift for her son with Yahya and so they were both very excited by the time we arrived at my mother-in-law's (which was the venue for the party!) We hyped it up good and proper!
We laid out a cloth and assembled our goodies. They exchanged gifts and said Jazakallahu Khairan to each other as well as to their Aunties. Then we encouraged saying positive things about the other by saying for example: "Doesn't Yahya have a nice shirt on today! Ma sha Allah!" So that they were nice to each other and were both the stars of the party. Then we did a simple craft activity and blew up a balloon and that was pretty much it! Then I left....the toddlers thanked each other and we felt that it was pretty much 'mission accomplished'! Hopefully, next time we get together, they will feel positive about each other because they had a nice time together and bonded!
5 comments:
Assalamualaikum!
Guess who? It's your littlest sister. Just reading all your postings. This should totally be a book - get on the phone to penguin, man! I love the little party for two; what a brilliant idea.
wassalam Baj! hope i didn't embarass you toooooo much!
Wow MashaAllah. Brilliant Idea!
Jazakillahu Khairan little sis!
It actually worked! They are the best of friends now!!
Fatima
It's nice to see that you and the family are trying to get back to some form of normality and showing others that grieving can be done according to the Quran and Sunnah, i.e. 3 days etc.
Subhan Allah! We had some people from India asking us what we were going to do on the 'third day'...expecting us to have a Qur'an Khaani, where everyone gets together and reads a Juz of Qur'an or Surah Yaseen or whatever...
My mum-in-law said to them (may Allah bless her!): "No way! These things don't benefit the deceased at all." And that was that!
Making du'a for the deceased is the best way we can benefit him now.
Mourning is three days except for the wife:
Umm ‘Atiyah reported that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “No woman should mourn for a dead person for more than three days, except for a husband, (in which case the period of mourning is) four months and ten days. She should not wear any coloured clothes, only simple dress. She should not apply kohl to her eyes, or use perfume, except for a little qust or izfaar (types of perfume), when she cleans herself after finishing her period.” (Reported by Muslim, 2739).
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